My Time with an Ex-Porn Star

There are real faces behind the facts and statistics about pornography.

For Mars Hill’s Real Marriage sermon “The Porn Path,” we flew up Crissy, a former porn star who’s since become a Christian, as a special guest to be interviewed in a Q&A with Pastor Mark and Grace as part of the sermon.

After the event, I chauffered Crissy and her friend to the airport to catch their flight home to L.A. Due to the severe snowstorm that hit Seattle this winter, her friend was able to get on a last-minute flight, but Crissy missed her flight altogether.

This meant I ended up spending a few more hours with her. Little did I know my time with her would be life-changing.

As we waited to be sure her friend’s flight successfully took off, Crissy began to share her story, much of which she did not tell at the event. Her words brought all I had learned about the effects of porn to a completely different level.

It suddenly became very real. There was a real face behind the facts, a real voice behind the statistics.

I took away three major things from our conversation that will forever remain with me.

1. Women Are Extra-Special

1 Peter 3:7 tells men, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
When I read the words “weaker vessel,” I don’t see it as saying women are the weaker sex or unequal to men, but rather women are extra-special, especially your wife.
Crissy’s story helped me to see that being a man means treating women (and in the future, my wife) with extra-special care, love and respect. I am to treat them as I would the most delicate vessel in my pottery collection—not because it is prone to break, but because it is invaluable.

2. Porn Is Real

I know firsthand how addicting porn can be. During my college years, I was serving the church and watching porn. I was leading worship and watching porn. I was a leader in the church and watching porn.
It was a love-hate relationship. No professing Christian, after watching porn, says, “I’m glad I did that.” We know it is wrong by conviction from the Holy Spirit and regret it after the fact—but we keep going back.

If you’re looking at porn, know this: Real people are involved, and real damage is done. When you watch porn, you are supporting and encouraging the sexual, emotional, psychological and physical abuse of real women, not just actors. 

Talking with Crissy, my disgust over my history of watching porn and my gratitude to Jesus for redeeming me from that horrid habit simultaneously reached new highs. I wish every guy could sit down with Crissy for five minutes and just talk to her. If that doesn’t convict him, I don’t know what will.

3. Jesus Can Redeem Anyone’s Story

What stood out the most to me as Crissy shared—despite all she had been through over the years with guys (not men) treating her as a commodity rather than a person and disrespecting her entirely—was that she told her story with a smile on her face.

Crissy knows without a doubt her past does not define her—Jesus does.

She knows in Christ, she is righteous and spotless without blemish. She has hope for the future because of Jesus. She knows Jesus is using her past to redeem others in the present.

She now works for a nonprofit organization called Treasures, which aims to reach out to women in the sex industry with the message that they are loved, valued and purposed by Christ. 

For those of you struggling with porn, know this:

• There’s no such thing as “free porn”—it’s a lie.
• Real women are being hurt in the porn industry.
• Porn promises what only Jesus can fulfill.
• Because Jesus conquered sin and death, this sin can be put to death once and for all in your life. You are fighting a battle that has already been won through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. 

Jesus really can and will redeem anyone’s story.